WHERE AM I????
The past or the present? What am i confusing myself with? Why the need to do that?
I don't understand. It seems fairly simple but simultaneously full of complications which fill my mind with nothing but heartache and miseries.
WHY can't i seem to stop harping on nolstagic thoughts of him whom i have willingly let go at that time? Something which i was so pleased to do as well. I have definitely had my fair share of regrets, or more, but i sure am happy now. In love i would call it. It doesn't make sense that i yearn for what i had, especially since nothing can be altered in the way that i want, as i have gave that chance up, and missed it for good. Jealousy is what surrounds my puny mind now. He was the best! Currently the best too? Not sure about that though. But due to the time period spent in each other's embrace, much longer than the present love, those memories can't be replaced and cleaned with a simple act of wiping with the table cloth. This dirty spot seems to inch further into the wood as time passes, seemingly glaring with those skeptical eyes that say "I told you so", mocking my everyday life, a life without him.
I AM happy but not happy. I need to scream! Or can someone give me a time machine? Ha...naive me speaking but the department of regrets ain't an area where i am good at.
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