no it's not a good thing. i wished it was my old favorite brown slippers i left in london that came back looking for me. or the snow i missed during winter returning to my sight. NO! the familiar whiffs of the musky stench dissipated into the air when i fall are starting to surround me like toilet paper used to wrap around mummies so tightly. i can actually feel the pangs of heartache even before it hits me, sooner or later.
pessimism is innate in me, i have proven. i can never seem to have more faith in my life, not even after constant reassurances from third parties who have heard me grumble and whine. what am i supposed to do? i m once again, lost in a fearsome land of mysteries. i don't want surprises anymore. i would choose stability over anything else. can't things simply remain the same where we would just hold hands like innocent lovebirds who seem immersed in everything about each other? no headaches, toothaches, tummyaches.
i have been so bored that i can actually count the number of dust specks on the wall maybe. ha! especially in such a void, literally and metaphorically, all i do is THINK and fantasize about the wrong things! sink in further into the grounds of cynicism and wallow in self-pity. i don't need that, yet i willingly let myself be pulled in. i need to do something about my life! gosh.
someone out there please save me?
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